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I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
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