I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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