party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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