You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont lie about slip and slides
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
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