He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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