idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
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I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
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But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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