Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
ugly people sure do ruin things
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
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Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
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The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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