but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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