oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize