I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
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rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
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