The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize