I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize