Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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