Your dad touched me again.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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