just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
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