I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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