Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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