I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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