i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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