I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
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It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
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Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
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