I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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