i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
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I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
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He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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