We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize