The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
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He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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