Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
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