My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize