I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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