Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
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I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
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Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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