Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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