I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize