My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize