I just made out with a guy for $7.
Your mouth is God's brothel.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize