i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize