i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
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