So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
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Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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