it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
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