Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
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there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
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You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
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