I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
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He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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