I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize