Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Are we still banned from the library?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize