So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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