Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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