i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
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