I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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