Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
i need some magic done to my vagina
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize