Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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