You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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