I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize