I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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