peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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